The Complete Guide to Cultivating Self-Awareness
By Amanda Da Silva, B.Hkin, B.Ed, and M.Ed
5-minute read
To what extent do you know yourself?
This is a question that will either baffle you because it’s so odd to ask or it’s a question that will leave you perplexed for days.
We all know ourselves because we are ourselves, but we only know the basics, what we might like, dislike, enjoy, how we look, and our favourite people and so on. But the way you see yourself and how others see you can be totally different.
Self-awareness is a skill that is better described as a state you reach that allows you to achieve a higher level of being. It is one of the components of self-actualization and can be key to truly knowing ourselves.
We will discover what is self-awareness as well as steps to take to reach a higher level of self-awareness.
The Complete Guide to Cultivating Self-Awareness ⤵
What is self-awareness
Therapist Marcelle J. Craig describes self-awareness as: " about looking at who you are in a way that acknowledges how you impact others and how they impact you...".
Craig is one that acknowledges the difficulty - that is being self-aware -since not a lot of people truly know themselves.
Self-awareness can be the one answer to ‘what are we here for’ and give us a reason to live to the fullest. Self-awareness is a level of consciousness that allows you to build stronger relationships, communicate more effectively, and understand your needs and desires on a deeper level.
The quest for self-awareness is a journey that requires lots of practice and understanding of oneself. While other components of self-improvement focus on bettering oneself, self-awareness is about being overall more aware and conscious of yourself.
The types of self-awareness
No.1: Internal self-awareness:
The first type of self-awareness is one that describes how we view our aspirations, future, needs, desires, values, and the impact we make on other people as well as the environment around us. This can also be associated with how we view our relationships and careers to truly see the extent of our performance.
No.2: External self-awareness:
The other type of self-awareness describes the level of awareness we have over how other people see us. It is not about understanding others; instead, it’s about being more conscious of how other people see you. This requires a level of empathy for other people as you are aware of their emotions and intentions with you.
The benefits of being more self-aware
There are many benefits to being self-aware and this can be useful in relationships, work, self-satisfaction, and mental health. Let’s look at a few…
No.1: Stronger relationships
Self-awareness is one of the most important factors in surviving conflict in a relationship. Most people are incapable of asking for what they want or refusing what they dislike due to being less self-aware.
No.2: Better decision making
Making better decisions is always associated with knowing what you want for certain. Muddled thinking is always due to being less self-aware about what you want of yourself or of others.
No.3: Effective communication
Understanding others starts with understanding ourselves on a deeper level. If you can develop self-awareness on both the external and internal levels, you will see that your communication is a lot smoother and more result oriented.
No.4: Productivity
We can all relate to procrastination that isn’t due to external factors such as our favourite show, game, or friends, but rather from ourselves. When we are less aware of ourselves, we do not understand the reason why we do things such as self-sabotage or procrastinate which is why being self-aware can help you get to the bottom of procrastination thus allowing you to become more productive.
How to develop self-awareness
We will become more self-aware as we age because our experience will teach us a lot about ourselves and others; but, the truth of the matter is that we ought to seek self-awareness actively to improve the quality of our lives on a consistent basis.
No.1: Interactions
The more interactions you have with other people the more you are going to understand yourself.
But this isn’t just about interacting and going about your own way, it’s about being aware of what bothers you about other people, your tendencies in interactions, and what you enjoy talking about with others.
While some interactions with people might irritate you, ask yourself this question: Is this interaction an indication of something in me that I dislike, or is there a way to make it better?
No.2: Meditation
One of the best habits that will teach you a lot about yourself is mediation because it allows you to become engulfed in your own thoughts. Something wonderful happens when you are not reacting to what happens in your mind but rather spectate and watch yourself in different states of mind.
No.3: Reading
While this is surely not the first time you’ve heard that reading is great, it has benefits when it comes to self-awareness. Reading fiction specifically is one of the best ways to learn a lot of things about yourself and others. Classics such as War and Peace by Tolstoy and Anna Karenina, Franz Kafka, and a lot of other books from other writers tell the story of the human experience.
No.4: Identify your weaknesses
While we all recoil from feelings of sadness, despair, and anxiety, each of us is unique in our weaknesses. By knowing your kryptonite, you are one step closer to being more in control of your feelings and emotions rather than them being in control of you.
No.5: Take feedback
As much as we try to imagine or create ideas of what others think of us, it’s important to just know straight up what they think of us overall. Whatever the answer may be, do not react to it because you are not trying to seek consolidation but rather trying to understand yourself.
No.6: Travel
While you do not need to go on the great voyage of self-discovery and enlightenment, you do need to be outside of your comfort zone physically, and out in new places to understand more about yourself.
The seven commandments of self-awareness
Practice being honest
Spectate how you react to positive or negative stimuli
Ask for others to tell you more about yourself
Travel more to new places
Interact with new people
Meditate frequently
Befriend your weaknesses
Practicing these commandments will help you develop your self-awareness and set you on the journey to develop your emotional intelligence. This will not only allow you to better understand who you are and what drives you, but it will also allow you to improve your social and stress management skills.
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Hi! I’m Amanda Da Silva.
I’m a mother of two boys, a wife, daughter, teacher, entrepreneur, former CEO, and life-long learner. I’m all about personal growth, community 💕, and being of service. (Find out more about me here.) In addition to being passionate about personal development, I’m an educator and coach with 20-years experience teaching and leading in the BC school system. I have a B.Hkin, B.Ed, and M.Ed, specializing in leadership and administration. Creating community and leading thriving teams are two of my favourite things to do. I also love helping people live empowered and growth-oriented lives.
I hope you’ll join me as we build our success together! 🙌
